Grabbing a Reward

By Stevie

With my favorite shirt either still hanging out at the Goodwill on 51 or happily planted on some other chick’s body, I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to grab that first reward for my hard work.

I’m awful about diet and exercise because I crave instant gratification. The past two weeks or so have been pretty hard. I haven’t eaten terrible, but I’ve slacked a tad. I’m still working out just about daily though and some days I’m working out twice. I still felt like I wasn’t budging though.

Two days ago though, I caught a glimpse of myself from the side in the mirror at the gym. My God. Where did my rear end go??

When I work out, I do a lot, and I mean A LOT, of squats and lunges. A few hundred of these a week for two months and my old lady-mommy bubble butt has gone from being “dat aaaaaasssssss” to just “dat ass.” That’s the only way I can think of describing it. Yesterday, I noticed that my mommy pouch is smaller. It still exists, but it’s smaller. I’ve also noticed my pants are fitting differently. I have one pair of jeans I probably cannot wear anymore because they are too baggy in the butt.

I’m back to shunning scales, so how much I’ve lost, no idea. Don’t care.

If anything though, some of my motivation is back and it felt incredible to look in the mirror and be able to see that my body is changing in a way that is satisfactory to me.

Time for reward.

There is a clothing boutique on the same street as my work. I walk passed it every day and every day I don’t go in because I look at the clothes in the window and say, “Store for skinny girls.” Every day without fail, there is something in the window I desperately want to wear and every day I keep on moving. I never hesitate. I never linger. I just glance as I walk.

For the past two weeks there has been a gorgeous dress in the window. It’s adorable! I love this dress more and more every single day.

Today, I went to the gym after work. As I was heading to the bus stop, I walked by and there it was, staring at me. Mocking me. I kept walking. Then I stopped and checked my watch. I had twenty minutes to kill. I went back to the store and started going through a rack of assorted dresses. There it was. Just one. Moment of truth. I check the tag- it’s my size. I check the price- not exactly what I want to spend, but I marched my butt to the dressing room.

Now my concern was-okay well what version of my size is this dress? Sizes vary by designer. Low and behold, I pull the dress over my head and turn to look at myself in the mirror.  A smile crept across my lips as I turned to check it out from the side. Some of my awful “back fat” (where my lats are supposed to be) is gone. The dress looks, well, smooth. I don’t feel frumpy as I so often do. I don’t feel sad, wishing that this or that was different about me so that the dress would look better.

I felt happy and content as I paid for my new dress.

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No matter how hard it is to push some days, good things are happening. The results are coming, even if it is more slowly than I’d like.

Just keep swimming.

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